Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
