If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
