After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
