new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
