Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
jump out the window naked night went bad
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
