yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
