they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize