The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
