is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
