Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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