i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
