Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
