pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She said her name was "party"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
