OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am spending my child support on dildos
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize