Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
