yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
