the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
