...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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