Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
