i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
