Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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