I didn't shave. On purpose
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
