Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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