I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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