Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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