When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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