You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
