Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize