i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
