The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize