Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
