I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize