I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
