As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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