This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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