Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
