you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
