Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize