Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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