she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
