mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you win again, gameday.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
