his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
