i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You're like the curious george of whores
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
