Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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