Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize