i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
