maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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