You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
