Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
