It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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