After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
