Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
