Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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