Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
