whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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