guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize