The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
