How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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