So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
