I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
