i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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