remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of course I have a pirate flag
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize