Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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