hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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