Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
