just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
